Miscellaneous
People always want more. And I can't seem to get it right. I can't understand it. If all I do is listen to you, offer myself up to you, why the hell must you have more than what I give? I listen, and advise as best I can, and I'm there, and somehow, when people don't hear what they want coming from you, like if you don't pour your soul out to them, they start to feel cheated somehow. Or pissed off. I'm a hypocrite? Because I don't go around wearing my heart on my sleeve? Because I'm not sure of anything I know, and what I do posess, I want to keep safe from stupid bastards, so I DO have a cold front, this is bad? I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. Sometimes I do care about what's going on. Sometimes I care so much, I go numb, because there's too much, and it overwhelms me. And if I don't go numb, I'll have a break down. And sometimes, just sometimes, I honest to God don't give a shit whether you live or die. And so this makes me a bad person. This pisses people off. Because I don't have that human tendency to trust people. Because I want to keep myself safe until I know better, I'm a hypocrite. I'm an annoyance. I piss people off. I don't get it again. I don't know whether or not to be hurt. I don't think I should be. But then again, something tells me if I'm not upset, I'm missing something. And this came from someone I really do care about. I don't know precisely what I'm supposed to do. Right now, if I think about it, I'll just get upset again. I don't know if it's anger, frustration, sadness, or some other nameless thing that I seem to be good at feeling.